Friday, August 14, 2009

Family Time

We're all doing it every day and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Some people try to slow it down with medication or alteration but it just keeps on going. Some people think the alternative might be an improvement, but for me that would be the last resort, and I certainly want to hold on as long as possible. Provided, of course, that I still have my health and mental faculties.

Getting older. We're all doing it.

Being with aging parents and a brand new grandson over the past few weeks got me to thinking about families and how very important they all are. Our families define us whether we want them to or not. Voluntarily or involuntarily. We are bits and pieces of our families. Both genetically and hereditarily and even behaviorally. (Forgive me Mr. Webster.)

We celebrated my mother-in-laws 85th birthday the first weekend in August. We spent the weekend at my brother-in-laws home in Florence, SC. Emrick came and brought his mom and dad. What a thrill to see the generations combining and intertwining. The young and the old and the in-between. We had a blast taking "mom" out to one of those Japanese steak houses and being together as a family. All of her kids and most of the grand kids were there. She really enjoyed herself. Sunday was a more toned down, at home day. My sister-in-law baked some ziti and we had a wonderful day before everyone had to depart and head bake to our respective homes.


This past weekend we spent at Bear Bottom with my mom and dad who are 80 and 79 respectively. Just simple, country folk. Not worldly but good, god-fearing people. I guess they are part of the reason I love the mountains so much. We have camped here together as a family, my mom, dad, older brother and me, since I was about 3 and much of that time was spent in the mountains. My dad never cared for the beach so we always headed to the mountains of North Carolina. The Blue Ridge Parkway was generally our destination. We spent many happy weekends at Julian Price Park near Boone and Doughton Park near Sparta camping together as a family. We never had much money, but I don't consider myself having grown up poor either. I was lucky enough to have a mother at home growing up. Only my dad worked outside the home. Nowadays that is more of a luxury. It takes both parents working just to make ends meet and enjoy some of the niceties of modern life. Nice home, cars, good food and an occasional vacation.




As a sidebar, Susan finally got her wish. David, our neighbor and groundskeeper, gave Susan some pointers on using his mower (left) and then allowed her to cut our grass at Bear Bottom last weekend. She was in "hog heaven" and had a ball.

Thanks David!




As I get older I recognize how great we really had it. My dad was a cabinet maker, good with wood and his hands, and actually built several truck campers that we camped in. I remember him spending many long hours in our basement, building and working on our camper so that we could spend time together as a family. Not expensive but adequate and comfortable and our gateway to adventure. Gas was cheap back then and camping fees were minimal so a weekend in the mountains was almost as cheap as just staying home. Certainly a lot more fun for a growing boy with no grass to mow. No garden to weed or pick. No chores. Just being a kid and having fun with my family. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of family times on our weekend camping trips.

Now our son has a family and I see his life was influenced by his childhood with us. It started with just a wife. Bailey is beautiful. Internally as well as externally. She is a delight to us all and a perfect partner for our Jonathan. And now they have completed the circle to include the latest addition to our family, our grandson, Emrick. What a joy. I just received this photo of him as he celebrated his first month among us. He is quite a little man and we hope to see him in person soon. They are starting traditions of their own and making their own memories but it is pleasing for a parent to see some of your influence on your children. Jonathan takes after me in that he loves to cook. I have done the majority of the cooking in our home for as long as we've been a family. Susan never cared for it and I did, so there you are. She works hard caring for our home and keeping us clothed in clean garments and she even cuts the grass, so the least I can do is feed her well. Besides, I like to cook. We think it a perfect partnership. Jonathan and Bailey like to camp and they love the outdoors. Hiking, biking, walking their dog. More influences carried over to the next generation of family. I can only hope and anticipate that Emrick will grow up and enjoy many of the same activities that his parents enjoy and that his Poppy will be there to help him explore the joys of hiking in the woods and starting a "one match" campfire and roasting marshmallows and hot dogs. More family traditions. Life is good. I hope I am blessed with many years to enjoy his coming up as our parents have been.

I occasionally hear people talk about their families like it was a bad night-time soap opera. Always drama and bad-mouthing a family member. Or putting some family member down. Or complaining about someone like they were strangers and not family. I wish they could experience what we have. It would put a whole different perspective on family. But I do understand the attitude. As the saying goes you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. No choice there. You're stuck with your family. I hope you got stuck with a good one.

I don't mean to imply that we don't fight or argue or don't have rough patches occasionally, after all we ARE family. We almost never agree on everything. That would be boring and stagnant. We have differing views on almost everything. Differing tastes. Differing likes and dislikes and yet we are very much the same to some degree. That's the family part. No matter how much we are different we are a little bit the same.

Deep down, always and forevermore, we are family. For that, I am truly thankful. God bless my family.